Tooth Appeal

The tears were starting to flow now as the ache in my mouth got sorer and sorer. Angrily rubbing away the tears I’d been determined not to let out, I made my way outside and sat down on the ground. What was I going to do? For days now I had this awful pain and I wished so much I hadn’t told Mammy. I tried to call her last night when I was in bed to tell her the pain was gone but my sister shushed me. I tried again a while ago but again my nosy sister told me to shut up! I think she wants me to go to the dentist and suffer a torturous fate. Now time is running out and I can’t tell Mammy because my sister is

watching me and she warned me she’d kill me if I did. Apparently “Mammy is going through the menopause so I can’t be bothering her”. Lucky her! I wouldn’t mind going through the menopause because it sounds like a brilliant fairground ride. If I sat here really quiet I’m sure I’d hear the fairground man shouting, “Roll up, Roll up, take your place and witness the thrill of the Menopause’. I must remember to ask Mammy to bring me, I never have any fun. But first, back to this injection. I am sooo afraid of needles and just thinking about it makes me want to wee my pants. Why did Mammy have to ring the dentist? I wish everyone would leave me and my tooth alone. Sure it pains me and sometimes I feel like hitting my jaw with one of the Jam jars lined on the kitchen window but I really don’t want to have it out.

The stories I’ve heard.

One of my sisters told me the dentist straps you into her electric chair and

sticks a big needle into your gum then takes out a big drill thing to drag out the tooth. I’ve seen daddy drilling holes in walls and I don’t want that going on in my mouth.

“Valerie”, Mammy’s voice ended the thoughts that were running mad in my head. “Oh no” I looked around me desperately. I had to hide. But where?

What about the ditch that divides our house with the neighbors. It was the closest place to me but the big dog next door would give me away. I hate dogs and the bloody bugger was always slobbering on me. I’d have to make my way to the hedge in front of the house. If I could get to it I’d be safe because I’d run over the road and into the field across it. I like that field coz it’s full of little bushes like a maze and I do spend hours pretending to be lost.

You should see me, I’ll make a great actress some day. I’m eight now so I

figure I’ll be playing “scarlet” by the time I’m fifteen. I reckon I’ll be very good looking when I’m fifteen coz ugly kids are usually good looking when they’re teenagers. Just watch “Oprah” on the telly. (If I was caught watching Oprah, my arse would be red for a week). But unknown to Mammy and daddy, I watch it all the time and she has all the before and after pictures of good looking girls and believe me they were once so UGLY. I not as bad as some of them, in fact, I think a smaller nose would make a huge difference.

“Valerie, Are you deaf? Get yourself into the car this minute, the dentist is

waiting”. Oh no, Mammy’s coming for me. Why am I always daydreaming? It’ll be my downfall one of these days. I could have been in the field with my tooth safe for another day. I’ll have to trash out a deal with her before I agree to go.

“MAMMY” I shouted at the top of my voice. “I’M ONLY GOING TO THE DENTIST IF YOU BRING ME ON THE MENOPAUSE WITH YOU!!”