Pandemic

Looking back on my life I think I've spent a lot of it being afraid. The silly things as a child that scare you... am I pretty, will I grow into being pretty, am I popular, will people like me. Hey as a child I even spent some time wondering if i smelt bad....

But we all went through that stage, then as I got older I worried about boys, if I'd ever be kissed, if I'd ever grow boobs... lord boobs were so important to me I even prayed to god to give me some. Then older still and boys were still boys and I worried less but still  worried. But then life kicked in and I fell in love and there were babies and life was amazing but life kicked in and death knocked on the door and I realised that childhood problems were real problems but not life threatening now I had life threatening problems. But i got up and got dressed and held onto the fact that people were kind and a hug was never too far away from any problem. 

And life went on, and memories were made, and people laughed and people cried and people died and memories stored and no matter how hard life got, a hug was still to be found everywhere. A kind word was always offered, even from strangers. Someone was always there to reach out in good times and bad. 

And your parents die, and friends die, and family dies, and you watch your children spread their wings and fly and every day there is something that scares you to your very soul....

And just when you think you've lived through everything, lived through the pain and sorrow of loss, lived through the joys and highs of happiness, you wake up and realise you haven't seen anything.

That morning you wake up to a global pandemic.

And during lockdown we saw everything. The zooms and the tiki toks, the tears and the laughter, the quizzes, the random videos.

We saw the lowest of the lows... the sick the dying. The locked nursing homes where silent cries screamed with sorrow. The lonlieness, the weeping, the bitter ache of need for company, for anything to feel normal. 

We saw it all. We were convinced of it. Amidst the loss and pain we saw humanity. The people who reached out despite the hurt. The people who worked, who saved lives, who delivered our needs to shops, those who wiped tears and virtually hugged the hearts of those who needed it badly.

And a hug is a hug no matter how you offer it to someone. Love is love no matter what....

We saw it all. Or so we thought. But we haven't seen the half of it. We havent seen anything yet. Somewhere there is a virus growing more lethal, more dangerous and more deadly than anything we've seen yet. That virus is us. Yes us. Us judging everyone. Judging for wearing a mask for not wearing a mask, for going out, for not going out, for working, for not working. For attempting to live regardless of the world that's dying around us. Humans judging humans, hurting each other. Killing each other

We're living in a pandemic. But covid 19 is not our biggest threat. Losing kindness from one human to another is.....

Valerie Masters